After Growing Up In Foster Care This Single Guy Adopted 3 Boys


By Mayukh Saha / Truth Theory

Paying it forward is a common expression that you would expect to be implemented every once in a while. You are kind to someone and then, you believe they will be kind of someone else too. Well, in an ideal world, that would be true. But it’s not always so. There might be times when you are kind to someone and the same person goes around your back and demeans you. Or maybe, they just forget the act itself.

But that’s not the case with Barry Farmer, a single man from Richmond, Virginia.

Barry’s grandmother raised him while he was growing up through Kinship Care. It is a program where family members are allowed to raise a child if the child’s parents are not capable of taking care of the child. However, age came in between them. As she grew older, Barry had to step in to take care of her.

Read: 7 Lessons I learnt From Becoming A Young Parent

Barry grew up with no father figure. But he was always aware of how important fathers were. And so, at 21, he applied and got his license as a foster parent. He adopted Jaxon, an 8-year-old. He was ready to return Jaxon if his family demanded him back. He knew the risks.


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But soon, Jaxon grew close to Farmer. He even asked him to become his ‘forever dad’.

Farmer mentioned that his act was a tribute to his grandmother. He was never able to pay her for her kindness but now, he is paying it forward. He also mentioned how touching and different it was for him to raise a child from a different race. When he called him his Dad without feeling alienated, it was one of the best moments for Barry.

After 2 years, Farmer adopted another child as a brother for Jaxon – an 11-year-old boy named Xavier. Another year later, he adopted Jeremiah, a 4-year-old. This child was supposed to go back to his original parents after a while. However, it changed and that’s when Barry wanted to adopt him. 


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Fatherhood had changed Barry from inside. He realized how critical his loss was and he is happy to fill up this space in his children. He has become their cheerleader in all the important events in all their lives. He has made sure that they never feel ‘taken for granted’.

People like Farmer is required in a country where more than 400,000 children are under foster care. Single men only account for about 3% of parents trying to adopt, as per The New York Times.

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Farmer understands that there are many single parents who are afraid of adopting a foster child. He has enumerated the things these children require: security, love, attention and stability. If you can offer them, you can adopt older children too. They are just like babies looking for the same things.

Well, everything has a ‘first’. Why not make this one your first too through foster care adoptions?

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