Friendships come in all kinds – from lifelong childhood friends to acquaintances we meet at work and share lunch with. However, all of us have at least one aspect of friendship in common – one that has broken down. This can happen in several ways as well. We all lead different lives, and sometimes, our lives can cause us to lose contact with the people we once considered our dearest. Other times, we simply find ourselves growing apart and forming opinions that prevent us from maintaining our cordial relationship.
However, there are more common mistakes that people make that can destroy a friendship. These are things we can control and work on. Here are 6 things that can destroy a friendship:
Selfishness can ruin most relationships, especially friendships. If someone is excessively and exclusively concerned with themselves, then it is a big red flag. A healthy friendship is a 2-way street where both parties are concerned about and depend on each other. However, if only one side keeps talking about themselves without much care for the person listening, the friendship between them will hardly last. After all, who wants an egotist as a friend?
2. Spending Excessive Time Together
Spending time with our friends is one of the reasons we have friends in the first place. But all of us need some time when we can be alone. If every second that you are free is spent in the company of your friends, then you might begin to feel smothered. Keep in mind that friendship is a part of your life, not your whole life. For a healthy and working friendship, you have to avoid being too clingy with your friends. Of course, the same goes for your friends as well. Friendships should not keep you from your partner or your family, for example.
3. Spending Not Enough Time Together
The other side of the previous point is also possible. As talked about before, one of the reasons we have people as friends is because we like spending time with them. If not spending time, at least keep in regular contact. They are the people we trust to help us through our difficult points in life. But if they are people that we never have time for, then you might need to question why you call them your friends in the first place. Perhaps, the two of you have grown too far apart.
4. Trust Is Broken
The basis of friendships is trust. Your friends know your secrets and personal details, and you expect them to keep them secret. Someone that cannot do so, and spreads the information with others behind your back, is usually not someone you want to be friends with. Lies are a type of betrayal of trust as well. A lying friend is usually not wanted.
5. Refusing to Forgive
No relationship is smooth, and friendships are no exception. You and your friends can disagree, fight, and swear to never see each other again. But, when the tempers cool, everything is fine because both of you forgive the other. Both of you can move on after that. This is one of the fundamental traits of a long and healthy friendship. A person that holds grudges and refuses to forgive will usually not have lasting friendships.
Friends are people we consider as equals. Being jealous of how well the other is doing in life is a very easy way of destroying a friendship. Of course, we are human and sometimes we just can’t help it. Jealousy is just another emotion. But when we let it control ourselves is the point where we start destroying friendships. If we cannot get over it, then it is a good idea to talk to them about it, honestly. Bottled-up jealousy is even worse.