Why We Are Unhappy And How We Resolve It
By Luke Miller,
Why We Are Unhappy And How We Resolve It
Many of us think of happiness as an elusive and unreachable place. Yet the map to both happiness and unhappiness is the same. This article shares why we are unhappy and the simple way you can resolve it.
When we wake up the decisions we make from that moment are the cause that creates the preceding effect, which makes up the rest of our day. This is the way it works on a smaller scale, however as time goes by these consistent causes become hardwired and the effect will start to dominate the cause and you can get stuck in this repetitive pattern.
We Are Our Memories
Dr Joe Dispenza says that: “95% of who we are by the time we are 35 years old is a memorised set of behaviours, emotional reactions, unconscious habits, hardwired attitudes, beliefs and perceptions that function like a computer programme.” Meaning that which we repeat becomes hardwired in our specific programme.
The memories of someone who repeats these patterns are created from a highly emotional experience. This triggers the same feeling again and again When we are unhappy- we are often not unhappy about the current situation, but reliving an event.
Dr Joe says: “If you allow that emotional reaction (called the refractory period), to last for hours or days, that’s called a mood.” He continued “if you keep that same emotion going for weeks or months it is called a temperament. And if you keep that same emotion going for years on end it that’s called a personality trait.” With this, he makes the point that shortening your emotional “refractory period” is where the true change starts.
This can often feel like a loss of free will, but it is simply living outside of the current moment. This is not to take away from the realness of being stuck in this state. Just to highlight the reality of it.
So How Do You Break This Cycle?
One of the most common ways of breaking the pattern of living in the past or future is through meditation. But it is also very much about how you spend your time. Dr Joe says “You have to get beyond the analytical mind.” If you do things that consistently make you unhappy. Then by design it is going to be very hard to ever find any lasting happiness.
We can often get addicted to negative emotions such as stress, as stress releases the hormones, adrenaline and noradrenaline. This can lead us to believe it is better to feel something familiar than nothing at all.
Modelling Happiness
If you ask people who are successful and happy. They usually say it comes through a structures routine of some form. If you ask someone who is happy but was previously unhappy and depressed they always say it came from a decision to change their habits. The body cannot tell the difference between emotion and reality, so when you try to make the change it becomes very uncomfortable. This will lead to a strong urge to return to old patterns. But also due to this inability to separate emotion and reality, you can predict your future by creating it. This can be done if you simply visualise each day. Instead of waiting for happiness to happen by circumstance, you create happiness through your will.
This is when you can start to cause the effect and create your reality. Dr Joe talks about this in the video below. Please try out some of these techniques, instead of just reading the article and moving on. This is the only way we truly break the patterns that are holding us back.
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