So I have been waking up at 3am- 3 out of the last 4 days! The reason- I have an inflated ego and somehow think my ideas are so important that it warrants me being awake! Ego is not what most people think, if you are anxious, nervous or insecure that is your ego making you think that the whole world actually cares that much about what you have going on, when in reality your world is pretty insignificant.
The ego has been held up and compared to people who like being centre of attention or think the whole world revolves around them, but the ego is not just that- your ego is the thing that stops you from telling someone how you feel about them because you are scared to feel vulnerable. It can also make you act very humble, make you distant and even turn you into a nervous wreck. In fact some of us with the biggest egos are the polar opposite of the typical centre of attention style ego that we would usually correlate with having a big ego!
The ego is real and exists within all of us, it is our sense of self or what we deem ourselves to be and I think the important thing is to try and work with and not against our egos. There is talk of ego dissolution, but I don’t think that is a very real thing and if it is, I don’t think those who have managed to dissolve their ego’s would be on the internet trying to prove that they have no ego, as that act in itself is egotistical and wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense! You can experience ego dissolution on a temporary basis, but as a long term solution it will always rear its head to keep you in check from time to time.
So as I said I am sitting here at 3AM writing this article, why? I can’t sleep, I am thinking of the endless opportunities that life has to offer, all kinds of good ideas are flowing through me- but really when it is all broken down and we get to the nitty gritty of why I am sat here at 3AM writing an article, it is my ego has given me an inflated sense of self importance.
In the grand scheme of things none of us are important, if you take the most “popular” person on planet earth and actually break down the numbers you will find that. Let’s say someone or something has 50 million eyes on them at any given time, that is not even 1% of the planet and our planet is such a tiny little speck in the gigantic universe that even if every eye on the planet was watching us, we would still be insignificant.
I am not saying these word in order to disempower you, I am saying them for the opposite reason, because once we stop letting our ego dictate and realise our insignificance, we become empowered to do things that most people would not dare to do.
How often does your ego stop you from taking risks? You want to speak to a beautiful woman/man, but you are scared you may get rejected……. When you realise how insignificant a moment of rejection is, you will become empowered to take these risks and proceed because really it doesn’t matter.
If you live for 75 years that is 657,000 hours, even if you spend a week or so out of them hours feeling sorry for yourself because someone rejects you, that is not even going to equate to a minute fraction of your time and energy on this planet. So while I am not trying to discard any feelings which are ultimately very real in a given moment, ultimately when you look at the bigger picture it does not matter.
Bar our physical limitations, eg- a small person doing something that only a tall person can do or a slow person doing something only a fast person can do, we can literally do anything we want on this planet. I am 28 years old, when I think of how long I have been here it feels like a hell of a long time, but (and I am being a little optimistic here) I may only be a quarter of the way through my life (yes I plan on living to 112 at the minimum). Take a moment and let that sink in, if I wanted to become a doctor, a lawyer, a veterinarian and a trained pianist, I could do that all in the next 28 years and still have half my life to live.
Now don’t get me wrong the ego is a funny thing, it is an elusive little shyster and I am in no way saying it does not dictate a huge portion of our lives, but you have to kick it’s arse every now and then and remind it who is boss.
Here are a few things your ego can dictate-
We are balls of abundant creativity, that is of course if we want to be, but nothing kills creativity like the ego. Writer’s block, not being able to hit a note while singing in front of a crowd or being too shy to express your creative art is just your ego giving you the inflated sense that we are that important.
Don’t get me wrong our craft and what we like to share can change lives and impact people positively, but with the whole dynamics of the vast depths of the universe and the infinite length of time things have existed- our book, article, song or whatever it may be that you have to give is pretty insignificant.
I come back to the numbers again, take Harry Potter one of the best selling books of all time and it only sold 107 million copies, which is a little over 1% of the world’s population. It is very significant in terms of achievement, but in the vast depths of space and time it really doesn’t matter all that much.
Now for most of us we can only dream of reaching that amount of people, but know that if we did it would only be a minute fraction of people who will ever see what it is we are offering. So don’t allow your ego to craft something that is not authentically you.
I was on Facebook yesterday chatting with someone and my ego really started to kick in, we were deep in conversation and I started to not answer them as quickly as I would have liked, you may know what I mean, you don’t want the little seen thing popping up the instant they send a message as I was a little worried I may look to keen in this conversation we were having.
Now all in all me looking to keen, doesn’t matter, not even a tiny bit! Even if the other person cared about it (which they probably didn’t) it doesn’t matter at all. Yet we can turn these little things into a big deal.
This is a minor example, some of the bigger things would be telling someone how you feel about them and being so terrified of rejection that your ego will not allow you to express your deepest desires. I say go for it, tell people how you feel and if that ends in rejection you will pick yourself up and continue to live life in the same way you always have.
This is not just the case for potential loving relationships, but also for friendships, potential creative partnerships and business relationships. If you express yourself authentically, without wearing a mask and putting up a barrier, you may not attract everyone, but you will attract the right people who align with you.
I think we can have a fear of being ourselves, that maybe if we put on an act people might fall in love with us, but the truth is if someone falls in love with an inauthentic version of you, you will have to spend your entire life being that version of yourself. The easiest way to live is to be the person you are born to be, if you can connect with that you will not have to spend your life acting and you will attract the right people into your world!
We can achieve so much in our insignificance, we can reach heights many only dream of, we can travel the entire planet. We can be gods among mere mortals (tongue in cheek). If we so choose we can contribute to the lives of many, we can offer the world our greatest gift! Any of us, if we choose to do so can affect the lives of millions of people and so long as you don’t allow your ego to give you a false sense of significance it won’t be all that much of a big deal.
The ego can hold us back from wanting to achieve something as it gives us the idea that if we do or don’t achieve that thing it actually matters. It doesn’t, the world will continue to move with or without your idea. But that fact should not stop you from creating it, it should encourage you to create it!
Now I have to be honest- I say this as a human being, who’s ego exists and of which I have to keep reminding myself to drop. I am not claiming that in some way I am the master of my ego, I get the same feelings of anxiety when faced with big things in my life and the same sense of accomplishment when I achieve something.
I fist pump when my articles go viral and I jump for joy when I create a good business partnership. I think the point I am trying to make is when we are authentic to ourselves and we drop the need for external validation we can create magic in our worlds every single day and that is something that is significant, even if only in your own world! Peace and love to you, Luke
Luke Miller is the creator of Potential For Change. He believes that spirituality is the foundation for good health and likes to blend psychology and spirituality to help you create more happiness in your life.Grab a copy of his free 33 Page Illustrated eBook- Psychology Meets Spirituality- Secrets To A Supercharged Life You Control Here
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