by Luminita D. Saviuc
“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of True Romance magazines—we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely—at least, not all the time—but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.” ~ Hunter S. Thompson
When was the last time you took a break from everything and everyone just so you could spend some time alone with yourself? When was the last time you gave yourself as much love, appreciation and affection as you give to those around you? Most people give a lot to those around them, but very little to themselves. And because of that, they get imbalanced. They neglect their health, they forget about their dreams, needs and desires, they forget about who they truly are underneath it all, and gradually, without them even realizing it, they become a stranger to themselves.
This isn’t how we should treat our own selves. When you deeply love and care someone, you spend time alone with that person. And the same you should do with yourself. You deserve as much acknowledgment, love and appreciation as everyone else. And before expecting to get all of these things from anyone else, you should first learn how to offer them to yourself.
“We need solitude, because when we’re alone, we’re free from obligations, we don’t need to put on a show, and we can hear our own thoughts.” ~ Tamim Ansary
Here are 9 Reasons Why You Should Spend More Time Alone With Yourself:
1. You get to know yourself.
“A human being has so many skins inside, covering the depths of the heart. We know so many things, but we don’t know ourselves! Why, thirty or forty skins or hides, as thick and hard as an ox’s or bear’s, cover the soul. Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there.” ~ Meister Eckhart
You are the most important person in your own life, the hero of your life story, and by taking the time to be alone with yourself, to be yourself and to know yourself, you will reach deep into your own heart and Soul, and you will get to experience the beauty, the greatness and the wonder of you. And what can be more beautiful than that?
Orson Welles was right when he said that “We are born alone and we die alone. We come into this world all alone, and even though along the way we will find companionship in our friends, family, and the many people we will meet along the way, there will still be moments when we will be all alone. And even though this can be a scary thought, if we take the time to be alone with ourselves – to love, accept, embrace and make peace with who we are, eventually we will learn how to be alone with ourselves without feeling lonely. And we will no longer have to live in fear…
Believe it or not, the more time you spend alone with yourself, and the more you learn to embrace, accept and make peace with your so called flaws, mistakes and imperfections, the more love you will have in your heart not only for those around you, but also for yourself.
“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~ Leo F. Buscaglia
Rumi said it so beautifully, “Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” Your heart and soul know the path you are meant to walk upon, the life you came here to live and the work you are supposed to do in this world. And if you take a few steps back from your daily routine, away from the people around you, and away from all the noise that surrounds you, you will be able to connect to that side of you that knows why you’re here on this planet, what the purpose of your life is and what the reason of your existence is.
“There is a voice inside of you that whispers all day long, “I feel this is right for me, I know that this is wrong.” No teacher, preacher, parent, friend or wise man can decide what’s right for you–just listen to the voice that speaks inside.” ~ Shel Silverstein
From a very young age we are taught to conform; we are taught to be more like others and less like ourselves. And the beautiful thing about spending time alone with yourself is that you will free yourself from all these mind traps, beliefs and limitations about you having to be like everybody else. And you will find within you the strength and courage to embrace and become who you truly are and not who the world thinks you should be. No longer having to pretend, and no longer having to hide yourself from yourself.
It’s wonderful to have friends and family to help you when you are faced with challenges and difficulties. But there will be times in your life when none of them will be able to help you. There will be times when you will need to “fight your battles” all on your own. And by spending time alone with yourself, by strengthening your sense of self and by allowing the courage, the wisdom and the power that lies deep with you to be unleashed, you will eventually realize that you bigger than all your problems and that you have within you everything you need to deal with whatever challenges life sends your way. And you will no longer feel afraid.
When the mind is quiet, when there are no thoughts and no words to be said, that’s when you can hear your own heart talking to you. That’s when you can hear your own soul and our own intuition communicating to you. Silence is a wonderful teacher, whispering things in your ear and helping you understand things that you won’t be able to discover from anywhere else. And by taking the time to be alone with yourself, to breathe in and breathe out without the need to force yourself into saying another word or thinking another thought, you will understand what Ausonius meant when he said: “He who does not know how to be silent will not know how to speak.”
Most people are so used to begging for approval and validation from outside of them, so busy looking for love in all the wrong places, that they can no longer connect with that side of them that knows that they already are enough. That’s why they stay in relationships that make them unhappy, in environments that are toxic, jobs that they hate and so on, thinking that they aren’t worthy of more. And the beautiful thing about spending more time alone with yourself is that it will teach you to honor and “Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.” ~ Robert Tew. Boosting your self-image and self-esteem so that you will no longer allow anything or anyone to make you feel like you are not enough – good enough, smart enough, worthy enough, beautiful enough, etc..
One of the hardest things in life is to let go of the people, memories, things, experiences and places we love the most. We hold on to everything and everyone so tightly, fearing that without that to which we cling, we will be nothing. Failing to realize that our attachment interferes with the love we have for that which we cling to, taking away from the purity and the beauty that love has to offer. But as you spend more time alone in your own company, opening your heart and connecting with your inner wisdom at a deeper level, you will be able to distinguish between true love and attachment. And as time goes by, you will understand that true “Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind. Love says, ‘I love you. I love you if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be near you. I’d like to have your arms around me. I’d like to hear your voice in my ear. But that’s not possible now, so I love you. Go.’” ~ Dr. Maya Angelou
With all my love,