by Sherrie via Learning & Mind
Loners are some of the most intellectual and loyal people you would ever meet.
In fact, their intelligence makes them capable of being content in solitude. That’s why I grow weary of all the negative talk about those who wish to enjoy time alone, away from the multitude.
Being a loner doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. If you think this way, you’re wrong. It’s not my opinion, it’s fact. You didn’t write the alphabet and you didn’t make the rules. There are many ingredients in the soup! Let me sort this out for you. I believe a little snatching up and rearranging is due.
First off, I’m not attacking anyone, I’m standing up for the little man, the one in the dark corner and the one whose been bullied far too long. In fact, I would love to help you get to know the loner, the introvert, the confident and quiet intellectual. Hopefully, you are no longer offended and maybe even a little curious about the loner. First, I need to clear something up.
There are two types of loners
The loner isn’t always an introvert, actually. Sometimes, the loner has a perfect ability to make friends, socialize and even get loads of attention. It’s just that they prefer to be alone. They have friends too! Loners have the ability to make top notch friends because they choose to choose carefully. Their friends are usually in a small group as well. Extroverted loners are picky about their time, selfish even, meaning they love to learn about themselves and continually learn things about life as well. And no, that doesn’t mean they are self-absorbed. I’m not positive because I am a rather introverted loner, but extroverted loners probably don’t have time for small talk either.
Jonathon Cheek, psychologist at Wellesley College, said,
“Some people simply have a low need for affiliation.”
On the flip side, the introverted loner is a little different. They have issues with large crowds of people, it’s not just a choice. Introverts feel safer alone, there is no risk of social awkwardness or rejection. Although they might choose animal friends over human counterparts, as many of us do, introverted loners still care. They are intelligent and find ways to socialize a bit through online communications rather than events or concerts, which can be devastating to their peace of mind.
Some think being an introverted loner is unhealthy. They feel that enforced alone time is close to anxiety. I can understand this personally, as I have endured panic attacks when experiencing the chaotic environment of an amusement park. This is because introverts can be victims of stimulus overload! Introverted loners need more time for meditation and pampering the senses.
I hope this helps, both you and me, because there are so many reasons, to be honest, as to why someone would choose more alone time. It could be heredity, the desire for privacy or even the result of not having many friends as a child. And don’t forget, being a loner is not the same as being lonely. I, for one, spent an entire year as a single mom with joint custody. I missed my children when they were away but it was not because I was alone. The weeks that I was by myself, I met myself. I got to know who I was and what I liked about myself. This was invaluable time that I used to learn that I needed no one to tell me who I was or how I should feel. I spent time with me and found some solid foundation on which to stand my ground, as needed. I embraced being a loner.
Loners are some of the most intellectual and loyal people you will ever meet. They can also be dangerous. Why, you ask. Because they already know what they are capable of and they no longer have to pretend. Knowledge, to the loner, is not intimidating. It is simply another opportunity to realize the strength of solitude.
Never look down on the loner. And loners, never look down on the social butterflies either.
It’s better if we work together and appreciate our differences. That’s where true intelligence and loyalty lie.
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